Blister at the "Bust" Stop..... Oh MY!!! and The Throat!!!

BLISTER AT THE "BUST" STOP.... OH MY!!!

 

Anna made it to the bus stop fine. Then she starts in with "oh, oh, my foot.... ohhhhh." I said that I would run to the house quickly and get some sneakers and socks because I knew she had a blister. "Oh, Mommy, I need to rest my foot, ohhhh." I told her to sit down. "But Mawwwmmy, it hurts because you touched it." Pouting child. Yes, I washed her boo-boo and put a band aid on it after I dried it gently. Oh shame on Mommy. Now I am amused at the drama.

I told her to sit down. She sat on the ground. Pouty face continued to plague the bus stop. The other 7 year old girl came to the bus stop, smile on her face. Her parents are really nice and made the sad face when they saw her sitting on the ground looking like she had lost her best friend to some horrible tragedy. I didn't pay any mind.

I had already gone over how I went to school with boo-boos including blisters, headaches, scrapes, cuts, sprained ankles and crutches, broken arms with casts, runny noses, sore throats and so on. She then piped in about how she probably wouldn't go to school if a tree fell down and chopped her arm off. I almost bellowed with laughter but held back. This was too farking funny! "No, Anna, you wouldn't go to school if a tree fell on you and chopped off your arm. You would go to the ER and they would have to do surgery and you would be traumatized for life and you would miss some school. BUT you would end up returning to school anyway. It's just something you have to do. It's your job."

She gave me the look. The poisonous darts missed. They came spinning at me full throttle right from the look of death my little princess dared to give me. I think I had the shield of invincibility that day. I kissed her forehead and told her that I loved her. The bus was coming. She got up, ran over to the regular place JUST FINE and got on the bus, didn't look out the window to wave and I just smiled.

Oh, the drama!

 

When the bus returned her to me from school, she ran to me all hugs and smiles. There was not one single word uttered about the blister. It was all up hill from there and she gabbed on and on about how much she loves second grade, her friends and her awesome teacher. She thought it was funny how he walked by a mirror and said, "time to trim the nose hairs!" I think having a male role model will be good for my little princess. She is quite a diva.

 

 

THE THROAT!!!!

 

Yesterday we started off with the "Mom, I can't talk much and I think I have a fever." I took Anna's temperature all of 7 times and the highest I could get it to go was 98.7 degrees F. I looked down her throat with the giant black Mag light and I told her that there was a little irritation, but nothing to be concerned over because we both suffer from seasonal allergies. She wasn't convinced that her nurse Mom was correct. "Mommy, you are not a professional. I need to go to the doctor. The doctor is a professional." What a clever girl. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

 

I told her we would see if an allergy tablet helped her condition and see if some juice and breakfast helped. She had that deep and raspy voice down to a T!

 

After breakfast we went to her room to get her ready for school. But I told her I had to check her throat again. Before I checked her throat she climbed back into bed. Of course this was not permissible because she was already busted and didn't know it. I had already made up my mind last school year that unless she's really puking or has a real fever, she is NOT going to the doctors office! Enough my darling girl.

 

She pretended she was exhausted and closed her eyes. I looked at that angelic and sweet face and told Anna that it was time to get dressed. I think she became paralyzed for a moment! Oh, egadz! Another condition to worry about (note that there is much sarcasm in my writing today). Just to be sure she was not becoming stone, I had to tickle the girl! Instantly there was laughter, an audible voice, wiggling and giggling and cries of "Mommy, stop!!!" All of the sudden I had to let Anna know that I realized that the tickles and juice combined with the allergy medicine must have cured her throat. Right after I said that she did a very sadly performed fake cough. I called her on it.

 

We had minutes to spare to get ready for the bus, but luckily I had already made her lunch and was dressed in my scrub clothes for this time of day. We made it to the bus. We ran. It had to be dramatic after that performance. I laughed most of the way home. It was another morning with my lovely 7 year old actress. There was no applause, but there was lots of love and hugs before she got on the bus and even a wave to me as the bus passed by onto other destinations before school.

 

If these stories are not precious, I don't know what is. It's what we enjoy now and treasure and hold onto that counts. There might not be a tomorrow. We never know. I'm so glad I have had these experiences and now I can tuck them away in my heart pocket. They draw me closer to my daughter. I couldn't wish for anything sweeter.

Someday I will have to tell her these little stories. Maybe if she has children of her own she will be just as amused as I am. 

Change

Change is hard sometimes. Well, actually most times it is difficult. Adjusting takes time.

It was an easy adjustment for my daughter to go into 2nd grade this year. After she had her first day of school she decided to stay in second grade. However, since the beginning of school the change in the routine has been difficult. Certain things have to get done and we have a schedule. I am the ENFORCER.

She treats me like I'm a Natze now. I'm the evil communist leader who doesn't let her do anything. The food is horrible here in case you didn't know. There is more sarcasm from her everyday, more testing and passive aggressive defiance and I love her more all the time.  I am blessed. I so want a glass of red wine. But I don't.

One of the rules for the school afternoon is that there is one hour of t.v. after homework and it must be before 7 p.m. My daughter has on many occasions tested this one, but I have come out on top, but not feeling like a winner. The bedtime ritual is another thing that is enforced, yet is hard to impress upon my young one. I hope that someday she will thank her evil Mom. That's me; the meanest Mom in the world I have told her before.

Changes like getting up at the crack of 6 a.m., eating very early, homework, and the change in the air seem dramatic to me, but they are really small.

Recently I started feeling a good change happen. I started to feel more in control of my life. Despite the medications, I have finally started accepting myself with all of my idiosyncrasies. I know that I'm very anxious, don't sleep well, can't focus for too long on anything and have phobias. I have been working so hard on eliminating these things. How could that be possible? I have not been thrilled about being on mood stabilizers since I was 19. Now I accept that this is where I am. This is good. I hope I can keep this decent attitude for awhile.

I find  that the autumn-like weather is making feel more alive. I can feel creativity running through my veins, life energy.... the reaching out like new limbs on a branch from the Tree of Life. This season seems to be the romantic one where I can see past so much and feel grateful as I expand my mind. I am becoming grounded and I have purpose. Thank goodness.

On another end of the spectrum a friend of mine who has twins, a boy and a girl,  lost her husband recently. Her children are the same age as my girl and in the same grade in the same school. Small town. I know what this is like and I know that I have survived so far and so has my little girl.

I took many shaky steps on my own and many with help to make life move forward easier. It brings me comfort that I can be there for my friend and her children having been through it myself. I am sad that it happened to her . Sometimes I still ask why, but then I realize that there are many reasons, but the truth will always be swimming around like some evasive fish species that we will never be able to find. It's the coming together and what is done with that that is important now.

I can actually do something that I have wanted to do for a long time: HELP SOMEONE. It makes me feel good and not so good. The feelings come close to the surface when I talk with my friend about her new pain. It is good for me and it is good for her that we are together. It's bittersweet. I can be the one to guide her like no one did for me. I know I can make it a little bit easier for her and if that's all I can do, it makes me happy.

One change that is so hard when you become a widow and a single Mom at the same time is the way people treat you. People are usually pretty much respectful at first and bring over casseroles for a few days and toys for your child. Then it stops.
Some treat you with respect, others ignore or forget you, some avoid you, others call you a bad Mother, and it all hurts. Even "his side" of the family is apt to dessert you because you are a little bit "loopy" or "dysfunctional." You already feel so low and like you're falling through some kind of rabbit hole, but it's dark and strange and surreal and it hurts in every way imaginable and more. But, I know my friend and her children will survive. It's just going to be one of the hardest changes they'll ever go through together. If they can find love in one another and work together.... they will be strong.

So, change can be hard and bittersweet. I have been brought closer to my friend because of her tragic loss, but I can be there and have purpose in my life and hers. I already had purpose, but this is out of love like the love I have for my daughter. That is the best reason to have a purpose. LOVE.

With the weather getting cooler and more and more beautiful, I feel the energy shifting in a way that is like magic casting its direction on me. This autumn is going to be great. I see so many beautiful colors and changes already. Some change is just beautiful.